Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
