it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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