I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
