i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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