The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
