he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
