Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
