I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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