the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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