I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
