At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
