there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
