I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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