but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
