I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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