Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you will always have a special place in my vag
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
