I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
