remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
