So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
