Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
