wat bout pragnant strippers??
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
