Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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