Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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