I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
