sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Welp...herpes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
