Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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