That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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