i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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