non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
