plz talk dirty to me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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