Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
