we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
