And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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