so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
