Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
