He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
