PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
