im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
