As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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