I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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