I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
