Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
