Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
