Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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