I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I wear drunk well.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
