The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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