Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
