If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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