So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
