she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
