Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
