I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
