I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
